C18T4W1 - 线型图type
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You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.
我的写作
The line chart illustrates how the prices of three metals including copper, nickel and zinc changed by month in the year of 2014.
The price of copper rocketed by 6 percent in January, which is three times of the month-on-month price change of nickel, and six times of zinc. The overall monthly change in prices of three metals fluctuate across the year, with three metals' price change remaining stable from June to September in 2014.
In terms of nickel, seven months witness the average monthly change in price above 0, while five months' month-on-month change percentage from June to October below 0. The average monthly prices plunged from a highly 6 percent to -3 percent between January and June. It then rose by two percent to -1 percent in July. The next two months saw stable trend, with monthly change in prices remaining at -1 percent. The rate of price decreased by 1 percent from September to October, and then rocketed to 1 percent in November. The last month remained stable at 1 percent.
Zinc's price change started at 1 percent at January and sees a rise with 2 percent in February. It plummeted from 3 percent to -1 percent from February to June, and witnessed a minor rise in July with 0.5 percent. The price change rate remained at -0.5 percent for the next two months, and experienced a 0.5 percent drop in October. The price rate jumped quickly from -1 percent to 1.5 percent in the next month and rose to 2 percent in the last month.
The price change rate of copper decreased from 2 percent to -0.5 percent between January to March, remained stable for a month, and then rose to 1 percent in July. The price change rate remained at 1 percent for month months, then droped by 0.5 percent in October, remained stable for a month, and increased to 1.5 percent in December.
Word count: 324；总耗时：25m59s
个人评价：
- 没有亮点表达
- 主体段三条线从第一个月顺序写趋势，特别流水账。
ChatGPT 评价
下面给出的评分、问题诊断、提升建议和一篇高分改写都严格按照雅思官方四项评分标准（Task Achievement / Coherence & Cohesion / Lexical Resource / Grammatical Range & Accuracy）来进行。你现在的写作基础已经不错，但目标如果是7.5–8分，还需要在概述、结构、句法多样性、表达亮点等方面提升。
📝 你的文章雅思写作 Task 1 评分（估分）
Task Achievement（任务完成）— 6.0
优点：
- 三条线都有描述，没有遗漏主要趋势。
- 逻辑上是按月份顺序写的，信息覆盖充分。
问题：
- 缺少 overall（总体趋势），或总体句不够准确。整体趋势是评分重点。
- 描述过于细致成流水账，缺乏总结、比较、概括。
- 有部分数据误读或表述不够精确（例如 “between January to March” 等）。
Coherence & Cohesion（连贯与衔接）— 6.0
优点：
- 段落结构明确，有分段。
- 信息基本按时间顺序，逻辑清晰。
问题：
- 每段内部结构较乱：句子之间缺乏逻辑桥梁，导致有“堆信息”的感觉。
- 缺少对比句、总结句，使得段落 cohesion 不够。
- 三条线 单独写，缺乏横向比较，因此整体表达显得像流水记账。
Lexical Resource（词汇）— 6.0–6.5
优点：
- 使用了一些变化动词：rocketed, plunged, rose, remained stable。
问题：
- 缺少亮点表达，词汇重复。
- 一些用法不自然或不准确：
- “which is three times of…” → three times that of
- “the average monthly prices plunged…”（monthly prices? 其实是 price change）
- 词汇选择有时不够学术，例如 “highly 6 percent”。
Grammatical Range & Accuracy（语法）— 6.0
优点：
- 有多种时态和从句尝试。
主要问题：
- 多处语法错误 → 降分明显：
- “between January to March” （between...and）
- “seven months witness” → witnessed
- “droped” → dropped
- 句型结构单调：多为简单句 + 并列。
- 缺少倒装、分词结构、名词化、复杂从句等高分句型。
📌 综合评分（估分）： 6.0–6.5
如果作文整体修正后，可以达到 7.0–7.5。
🔧 主要问题总结（精准版）
1️⃣ 没有 strong overview（最致命）
Task 1 overview 必须概括趋势 → 你目前的 overview 太弱。
2️⃣ 结构是“三条线按月份流水账”
你自己也正确发现了这一点。高分写法不是按月份写，而是按趋势区间写，例如：
- 1–2 月上涨期
- 3–6 月下跌期
- 7–9 月平稳期
- 10–12 月反弹期
并且要跨金属进行对比。
3️⃣ 语法错误多，句子较简单
要加高分句式（后面我会在改写中提供）。
🏆 如何把你的结构从 6 分提升到 8 分？
⭐ 高分结构模板（Task 1 折线图万能）
Paragraph 1 — 改写题目
1 sentence
Paragraph 2 — Overall（必须写）
2 sentences
写两点：
- 主要趋势（上升/下降/波动）
- 哪个最大/最小/最不稳定
Paragraph 3 — 第一阶段的趋势比较（1–2 月 / 1–6 月）
Paragraph 4 — 第二阶段的趋势比较（后半年的反弹）
⭐ 记住：要写比较，而不是分别讲故事。
✨ 你的作文（8分写法）精炼改写版
下面是一篇按照你的内容+官方评分标准写出的8分风格版本。
词汇学术、句型多样、段落之间有逻辑连接，并且避免流水账。
🌟 8 分参考改写（你的内容的升级版）
The line chart compares the average monthly percentage changes in the prices of copper, nickel and zinc throughout 2014.
Overall, nickel experienced by far the greatest volatility, beginning the year with a sharp rise before falling steeply into negative territory. In contrast, copper and zinc showed milder fluctuations and broadly followed similar patterns, both ending the year with positive growth.
At the beginning of the year, all three metals saw increases, with nickel surging by 6% in January—three times the rate for copper and six times that for zinc. However, from February to June, nickel underwent a dramatic reversal, falling continuously to -3%, the lowest point for any metal during the period. By comparison, copper declined gradually from 2% to around -0.5%, while zinc rose slightly in February before dropping steadily to -1% in June.
Between July and September, the picture stabilised. Copper recovered to around 1% and remained unchanged for several months, whereas nickel and zinc hovered at approximately -1%. In the final quarter, all three metals rebounded. Zinc recorded the strongest late-year recovery, climbing from -1% in October to 2% in December, while copper rose modestly to 1.5%. Nickel also recovered, returning to positive territory at 1% by the end of the period.
🛠 逐句对比你的问题 vs 高分写法
你的问题 | 高分写法如何解决 |
按月份写 → 流水账 | 按趋势区间写：上涨 → 下跌 → 平稳 → 反弹 |
缺 overview | 强调 volatility + end-of-year pattern |
词汇无亮点 | surge, plummet, stabilise, rebound, volatility |
三条线分开写 | 横向比较：nickel 最大波动 / copper 稳定 / zinc 后期反弹强 |
语法错误 | 加倒装、名词化、复杂句（whereas / in contrast / by comparison） |
📚 接下来我建议这样练习（非常有效）
- 每次练 Task 1 先写 overview，不写正文
- 训练“不按月份写”，按趋势块写
- 建立一个 Task 1 词汇库（我可帮你整理）
- 我可以给你做 一对一精改精品课式修改（逐句精修+替代表达）
如果你愿意，我还可以帮你：
✅ 逐句精改你的原文（保留你内容但提升到8分）
✅ 出一套 Task 1 高分表达模板合集
✅ 继续做下一篇 Task 1（模拟考试+点题）
只需告诉我你希望哪种版本。
参考高分范文
8分范文
我怀疑这是8分范文吗，内容有误还有表达很奇怪的地方。
The line chart illustrates the cost every month and the difference between Copper, Nickel, and Zinc throughout the period from 2014.
- throughout the period from 2014 替换 the year 2014
Overall, while the three matters change in prices exhibited different trends over the given period, the three followed an upward trajectory, whereas the other two showed a decline. However, the rates of increase and decrease varied significantly between them.
- 疑问：这个overview是不是不对啊？
- 同义替换：three matters 三种物质
- exhibit verb [transitive] exhibit something (formal) to show clearly that you have or feel a particular quality, ability, feeling or symptom 表现，显示，显出（感情、品质或能力）
synonym display
- over the given period 在给定的时间段内
同义替换 时间段
- follow an upward trajectory 上升
- a missile’s trajectory 导弹的弹道
- (figurative) My career seemed to be on a downward trajectory. 我的事业似乎在走下坡路。
trajectory 同义替换 trend
trajectory noun /trəˈdʒektəri/ (plural trajectories) (specialist) the curved path of sth that has been fired, hit or thrown into the air（射体在空中的）轨道，弹道，轨迹
As the graph shows, the amount of Zinc and copper is considered stated at Samller's petition in January the avarage. Followed by , had some fluctuations from March to around Jun. However, both figures reached in the end period rose almost from 2 percent and 3 percent.
- 感觉有很多语法错误…… 真的8分吗
By contrast, the average monthly change in the cost of Nickel commenced at represented the highest, where there was noticeable a massive drop from February to Jun arriving at -0 percent, then making it the most significant category average proportion.
7.5分范文
The line graph shows the percentage changes in price of the three types of metals in 2014. Overall, those three categories are nickel, zinc and copper, and the most volatile one is nickel through this year.
- 形容趋势变化最明显 the most volatile one
- This is a highly volatile situation from which riots might develop. 现在局势极不稳定，有可能发展成动乱。
- Exporting the product was difficult due to a volatile exchange rate. 该产品的出口由于汇率波动剧烈而变得困难。
- a potentially volatile situation 有可能发生动荡的局势
volatile adj. (of a situation情况) likely to change suddenly; easily becoming dangerous 可能急剧波动的；不稳定的；易恶化的
synonym unstable
Specifically, the initial proportional change of nickel was 6%, and this figure steeply decreased to -3% until June. Afterwards, it kept its percentage around -1% until October and consequently reached 1% at the end of 2014.
- specifically 具体来说
可以用在具体主体段举例里面
On the other hand, focusing on copper, it started with 2% and gradually decreased to approximately -0.5% between January and June. Then, after that month, it started recovering and became 1.5% in December. Furthermore, zinc experienced a sharp growth between January and February as the figure for this type of metal increased from 1% to 3%. Additionally, whereas this category also had a steep decline until June as it fell to -1% from 3%, its percentage resurged to 2% in December.
- have a steep decline 剧烈下降
- resurge verb
In comparison, the highest position was exchanged between the two groups, nickel and zinc. What is more, the largest difference can be seen in the case of nickel as its proportion plummeted by 9 percentage points between January and June.
- plummeted by 9 percentage points 下降9个百分点
7.0分范文
Introduction
The line graph illustrates the percentage change in the prices of three metals-copper, nickel, and zinc-on a monthly basis throughout the year 2014.
- line graph 同义替换the graph
- on a monthly basis 同义替换 monthly
Overview
Overall, nickel showed the most dramatic changes, rising sharply early in the year before steadily declining until mid-year. In contrast, copper and zinc remained relatively stable with minor fluctuations, Towards the end of the year, all three metals experienced a slight upward trend.
- 对比关系用 in contrast
- 变化明显 show the most dramatic changes, rising sharply early …
- 相对平稳，有所波动 remain relatively stable with minor fluctuations
Body Paragraph
In January, nickel saw the highest price increase of around 6%, but this trend reversed in the following months, with prices dropping consistently until July. Copper and zinc, however, fluctuated around the 0% mark, showing minor increases and decreases. In June, nickel reached its lowest point, dropping by approximately 3%, while zinc and copper remained relatively stable. From July onwards, nickel prices began to recover slightly, though they remained volatile, copper and zinc followed a steadier trend, with zinc experiencing a slight dip in August and copper maintaining a more stable pattern. By December, all three metals showed a positive trend, with nickel recovering the most, followed by copper and zinc.
Expressions
- reverse verb 颠倒；彻底转变；使完全相反
- reach its lowest point 达到最低点
- remain relatively stable 保持稳定
- recover slightly 稍微恢复……
- remain volatile 波动大
- follow a steadier trend 趋势更稳定
- experiencing a slight dip 稍微下降
- maintaining a more stable pattern 保持稳定
- show a positive trend 不是负增长/下降
- all three metals showed a positive trend, with nickel recovering the most, followed by copper and zinc.
最后这句没看懂，nickel月度增幅为0，为什么说nickel recovering the most???
- 行为逻辑：【按月份切分】
- 1月：开端，说明nickel（镍）、的数值以及接下来几个月的趋势（二月有反转）
- 6月：nickel 最低点（明显的feature）；和copper以及zinc形成对比 remain relatively stable
- 7月以后
关键月份：
Copper（铜）和zinc（锌）形成对比，只是在0%上下波动
其他参考范文1
开头段 - 改写题目+概述趋势
The line graph portrays the average monthly percentage changes in the prices of copper, nickel, and zinc during 2014. All three metals showed significant volatility throughout the year, with nickel displaying the most considerable fluctuations.
主体段1 - 描述1-2月上涨区间
In January, nickel's price rose dramatically by 6%, the most significant increase of the year for any of the metals. Copper also ascended by 2%, and zinc's price rose by 1%. The subsequent month, February, continuously saw an increase in the prices of all three metals, with nickel leading the surge with a 4% rise.
主体段2 - 描述3-4月转折点
The trend of ascension persisted from March to April for all metals, albeit at a reduced pace, with zinc recording the largest increase. Yet, in May, copper's price decreased by about 0.5%, while nickel and zinc maintained their upward movement, albeit more modestly.
主体段3 - 描述6-9月下降区间
June witnessed a decrease in the prices of all metals, with nickel experiencing the largest decrease of 3%. From July to September, copper's price bounced back with a steady monthly increase of 1%, while nickel and zinc saw price reductions.
主体段4 - 年末总结
However, November marked a turnaround with all metals experiencing an upswing, zinc leading with an increase of about 1.5%. December continued the upward trend for all metals, with zinc registering the most significant increase of around 2%.
范文作者：Sophia
相关词汇和语法结构
- Significant volatility 显著的波动性
- Most considerable fluctuations 最显著的波动
- Dramatically rose 显著上升
- The trend of ascension 上升趋势
- Albeit at a reduced pace 尽管步伐减缓
- Bounce back 反弹
- Mark a turnaround 标志着一个转折点
- Continued the upward trend 继续上升趋势
其他参考范文2
以下斜体部分为多样的语法结构；粗体部分为优秀词组搭配
The line graph illustrates how the price change of three particular metals, namely copper, nickel and zinc, varied on average in each month in 2014.
- namely 即（举例，名称）
- change 同义替换 vary
Overall, it is easily apparent that the rate of increase in the changing prices in all three raw materials slowed down, albeit to varying degrees. It was also noticeable the prices of the three items showed a strikingly similar trend over the given time frame.
- albeit to varying degrees 尽管程度不同
- though to differing extents （尽管程度不同）
- albeit at different levels （尽管处于不同水平）
- even if not equally （即使并非同等）
你可以用以下短语替换，意思相近，但正式程度略有不同：
- over the given time frame 同义替换 给定时间段
通用过渡词表达
- overall 总的来说（overall段）
- namely 即（举例）
- it is apparent that…
overall 段罗列明显的趋势
- it was also noticeable …
overall 段罗列趋势
Nickel prices, despite by far the greatest increase (6%) in January, experienced less significant rises in the following two months, 4% and 1% respectively. Despite miserly no more than 1% rise in price until May, it was in June that the price showed a decline, going down by 3%, before it dipped by 1% in the third quarter and recovered to 1% increase by the end of the period.
Expressions
- miserly adj. (of a quantity or amount数量) too small极少的；太小的
- Despite miserly no more than 1% rise in price until May, it was in June that the price showed a decline, going down by 3%, before it dipped by 1% in the third quarter and recovered to 1% increase by the end of the period.
synonym paltry
- dip verb 下降
- in the third quarter 时间表达替换 7-9月
- 行为逻辑：这一段写Nickel
- 1月必写（最大的数字），然后带过2、3月
- 注意这张图要看好y轴是变化趋势，所以数字的写法看好参考译文如何转化的。例如Nickel 5月数值不太到1%，写成 miserly no more than 1% rise in price until May；比如 Nickel 6月数值是-3%，要写成 the price showed a decline, going down by 3%
- Nickel 10月份跳过了。
Nickel prices, despite by far the greatest increase (6%) in January, experienced less significant rises in the following two months, 4% and 1% respectively.
The trends of the other two metals almost mirrored the pattern, albeit to a smaller extent. The slight rises in the price of copper and zinc were consistent notwithstanding the fact that the rate never exceeded 3% in the first half of 2014. The following five months saw a mild fluctuation in the price changes, with the rate between -1% and 1%. In the majority of this period, copper showed a greater increase than zinc. Only in December did the prices rise by roughly 2% for both of them.
- The slight rises in the price of copper and zinc were consistent 这一点信息没错吗？
- In the majority of this period, copper showed a greater increase than zinc. 意思是后5个月，copper的数值基本是1%左右，而zinc是负数，后面才上升了，所以copper增长比zinc大。
Expressions
- mirror the pattern 和上面趋势几乎一致
- albeit to a smaller extent 尽管程度较轻
- consistent 一致的
- notwithstanding adv. 尽管
- notwithstanding the fact that…
- in the first half of 2014 2014年的前半年
时间表达的同义替换
- the following five months 时间表达，接下来5个月
- 时间（段）+see a mild fluctuation 波动较小
总结：同义替换
时间表达
- throughout the period from 2014 替换 the year 2014
- over the given period 在给定的时间段内替换任何时间段
- on a monthly basis 同义替换 monthly
- over the given time frame 同义替换 给定时间段
- in the third quarter 时间表达替换 7-9月
- in the first half of 2014 2014年的前半年
时间表达的同义替换
- the following five months 时间表达，接下来5个月
上升
- follow an upward trajectory 上升
trajectory 同义替换 trend
- resurge verb
- show a positive trend 不是负增长/下降【持平也可以】
- Dramatically rose 显著上升
- The trend of ascension 上升趋势
- Continued the upward trend 继续上升趋势
下降
- have a steep decline 剧烈下降
- plummeted by 9 percentage points 剧烈下降9个百分点
- experiencing a slight dip 稍微下降
变化明显
- 形容趋势变化最明显 the most volatile one
volatile adj. (of a situation情况) likely to change suddenly; easily becoming dangerous 可能急剧波动的；不稳定的；易恶化的
synonym unstable
- remain volatile 波动大
- Significant volatility 显著的波动性
- 变化明显 show the most dramatic changes, rising sharply early …
- Most considerable fluctuations 最显著的波动
相对平稳
- 相对平稳，有所波动 remain relatively stable with minor fluctuations
- follow a steadier trend 趋势更稳定
- maintaining a more stable pattern 保持稳定
- 时间（段）+see a mild fluctuation 波动较小
动词
- exhibit 替换 display/show/illustrate
- reach its lowest point 达到最低点
- recover slightly 稍微恢复……
- Bounce back 反弹
- change 同义替换 vary
其他
- line graph 同义替换the graph
- three matters 三种物质 替换 three metals 三种金属
- 方法：找上义词
- Mark a turnaround 标志着一个转折点
- miserly adj. (of a quantity or amount数量) too small 极少的；太小的
- Despite miserly no more than 1% rise in price until May, it was in June that the price showed a decline, going down by 3%, before it dipped by 1% in the third quarter and recovered to 1% increase by the end of the period.
synonym paltry
- mirror the pattern 和上面趋势几乎一致
- consistent 一致的
总结：衔接表达
- specifically 具体来说
可以用在具体主体段举例里面
- on the one hand… on the other hand 一方面……另一方面
甚至主体段开头用都行
- 对比关系用 in contrast
- Albeit at a reduced pace 尽管步伐减缓
- namely 即（举例，名称）
- albeit to varying degrees 尽管程度不同
- though to differing extents （尽管程度不同）
- albeit at different levels （尽管处于不同水平）
- even if not equally （即使并非同等）
你可以用以下短语替换，意思相近，但正式程度略有不同：
- albeit to a smaller extent 尽管程度较轻
- overall 总的来说（overall段）
- it is apparent that…
overall 段罗列明显的趋势
- it was also noticeable …
overall 段罗列趋势
- notwithstanding adv. 尽管
- notwithstanding the fact that…
总结：主体段思路
- Author:Active Reading
- URL:https://clairelind.top/article/ielts-writing-c18t4w1-line
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